2009, be mine?

2009 starts in roughly 5 hrs and 30 minutes. The arrival of a new year is most of the time embraced with faithful promises of starting anew, of getting rid of vices, of changing for the better, and whatnot. For this year though, I have none of these as I've decided 2009 is my year to recuperate.

If anything, all I have right now is confusion and I know it won't get better anytime soon. But I will try harder, swear I will.

2008 wasn't my year. Last new year, I decided to take a risk for myself and for someone. But then again, I guess I decided a little too late. Just 3 days after the start of this year, my heart was broken (4 January 2008). It was hard to pick myself up again but I tried and eventually, I pieced myself back together.

Summer (especially May 2008) wasn't necessarily happier but I was contented. I dove right back in with eyes closed... then I learned that even if chlorine hurts my eyes, it wouldn't hurt as much as not knowing how deep I was going and how far before I drown. (I drowned, by the way)

The second -ber month is where the mess I am in now started. The third -ber month, I lost my Mama Cecy and, well, the mess became greater. Christmas Eve 2008, my dad and I had the greatest fight ever. We weren't 'friends' (hehehe "let's make peace, let's make friends" by Tito Eloy) 'til after Christmas. Christmas 2008, all Untalan Christmas traditions broken. We miss you Lolo. 

New Year's Eve, I confessed I'm not worth it. But I will try to be.

My point? No regrets, no giving up. Tanggap lang nang tanggap. Basta Ikaw, Lord!

I can't promise myself a better year but why not try? ("But it's heaven at least to try..." DAYS, BABY) Who said I'm giving up?

2009, be mine?